What is normal? Are you normal? Am I normal? Are we all normal? Webster’s Dictionary defines the term as “usual or ordinary; not strange.” When we ask ourselves these questions, or when we respond to the next statement in parenthesis, as I often do (you’re so weird), do you ever wonder by whose standard we are judging ourselves against? What does Webster know about being normal, anyway?
Growing up, I was always a little, well, different. My teeth were crooked. I had a high pitched laugh. I was a little nerdy. Okay, very nerdy. I was also sheltered so, hence, extremely socially awkward. I walked around with a bull’s eye pasted across my chest, serving as a moving target for the big bad bullies who continuously pushed me around. No, really – I mean that in the most literal sense. Every afternoon in the second grade, I would skip across the school parking lot in my OshKosh B’gosh overalls and my He-Man book bag. (How is that for an image of cool?) And every afternoon, this one boy would push me down. He would just walk up to me and say “you’re weird” and then push me, for no reason at all, every single day.
For many years I tried, albeit unsuccessfully, to conform to the notion of normalcy as defined by everyone around me. We all do it. Shape magazine publishes an article on a slim-down diet, features a slender model overexcitedly eating an apple and we decide, “Yep. I want to look like that.” You convince yourself that you should look like that – because that is normal – and what you look like is not. Each year, millions across the globe are steered under the knives of plastic surgeons that tuck and lift because stretch marks, sagging skin, wrinkles, small breasts … none of that is normal. But according to who? Your favorite celebrity? Mainstream media? The fashion industry? Your coworkers? Your friends? Who decides the standard by which we judge what is normal?
Sometimes, we are influenced by imit-haters. Yes, that’s right, the imit-haters – the opinionated portion of the population who hate first, then imitate later. These are the people who insistently mock you for choosing an iPhone over a Samsung, wearing red shoes, shopping at Walmart, shaving your head, listening to jazz and, well, you get the idea. You may have heard it before: “Seriously? You’re so weird. I can’t stand [fill in blank].” Soon thereafter, these same people will be doing, wearing and liking the same things they initially criticized you for. In other words, they judge you based on their standard of normalcy, then hypocritically go against that same standard.
I have tried to conform to the notion of normalcy imposed by society. It never worked. Do you know why? Because the quirks about me that others identified as oddities made me, well, me. Sure, at the core we all share the same single fundamental characteristic. We are all human beings. However, our genetic makeups and independent environmental triggers create distinguishing characteristics between us from physical appearances to mental abilities. The entire world is comprised of seven billion people of different shapes, colors, religions, ethnicities, personalities and in this mishmash of diversity, there is not one person who will ever be identical to you. You will always be a smidgen different than the rest. You will forever be you to the core; not her, not him, but you. What is so wrong with that? Why do we insist on imitating others, on trying to change ourselves, when there is beauty in variety, in uniqueness? Because someone else thinks that we are weird?
Twenty something years have expired since those Oshkosh B’gosh days and a multitude of things have changed. My numerical age, for one, my vertical height, lingual abilities and the faint definition of laugh lines. Notwithstanding all of that, certain things have remained the same. I still burst a high-pitched laugh when something is ragingly funny. I am still (and will forever be) very nerdy. I tell bad jokes, dance in public and sing to myself. But do you know what? My boyfriend loves all of this about me. That quirk, that small, diminutive distinctiveness about yourself that you may try to change is a quality that someone will eventually fall in love with.
Can we think about this for a moment?
Maybe, just maybe, being normal is what is weird. Normal is boring, repetitive and average. Weird is unique, distinctive and original. Stretch marks are beautiful. Laughs are inimitable. Wrinkles tell a story. Be proud of what sets you apart from the rest.
In closing, please remember Dr. Seuss’ advice on self-actualization:
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
Tagged: blogging, bodyimage, bullying, confidence, happiness, identity, inspiration, judgment, life, normal, postoftheday, socialnorms, society, writing
Reblogged this on Human Interest.
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Thank you for sharing!
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You’re welcome!
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Nope, I’m not normal.
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“Normal” people are terrifying
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Maybe being a little weird is okay!
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Yes, “all of the best people are you know”
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omg! I love this post! I can relate so much to it! Society’s standard tries to kill whatever is unique and special, like we’ve all got to be the same and nothing else. Awesome post. 🙂
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Thank you so much! I completely agree – maintaining a sense of uniqueness while battling societal norms is tough. Sometimes we try so hard to “fit in.” But what does that even mean? Fit in with who? See, I wrote this entire post and I still have questions! 🙂
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I adore this.
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Thank you, Amanda 🙂
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I suppose we are all weird in our own unique way, some people just push the parameters!
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I couldn’t agree more!
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They are just words, aren’t they? Really, weird is normal, so there’s that, too. I am normally weird, and sometimes that is pretty weird, but mostly it is boringly normal. I love your perspective!
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Thank you, John! It gets a little confusing at times, doesn’t it? 🙂 But, yes, “normal” and “weird” – they really are just words trying to categorize us as this or that. I totally agree!
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I love this! From another bullied, socially awkward, public dancing, quirky nerdette … and proud! 🙂 x
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Woohoo! I love it!
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Beautiful post!
Back on topic though, I’ve come to dislike what people call ‘normal’ these days, mainly the ideas of people my age – the young generation. I don’t like the ‘modern’ lifestyle, I don’t like what’s in, honestly, I just want to be myself without people always butting in about how ‘old’ and ‘weird’ I am.
Do I influence you for the worse? No? Then please, don’t care about me.
-S
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Sam, thank you! What is that quote from Emerson? “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” Keep being yourself!
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My roommates and I have established that there is no such thing as normal, and anyone who thinks there is, should be boycotted! 🙂 Different, weird and quirky are the adjectives that make life and people interesting! 🙂
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Also, thanks for stopping by and following my little blog 🙂
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Yes! It certainly adds a lot of spice to life 🙂 And you’re welcome! I am a happy new follower.
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Yes yes yes! I can totally relate to this. I was a geeky little girl as well. The most beautiful thing about this post is the fact that there are people who love you for being “weird” as you put it. It is so hard to see how someone could love you despite the fact that you have these quirky ways and strange life. I find it hard to understand how anyone could see me as special to them…ME–a person who was afraid of life and is taking baby steps to accomplish things in her 20s that some people think they accomplished in their teens. But I have a friend who has loved me…showing me my worth in ways I could not even imagine. I thought I wasn’t good enough as I was and I was afraid to let people see who I was because they confirmed it: ‘you need trendy new clothes’, ‘you need to hang out with friends more’, ‘you need to take harder classes.’, ‘you need to listen to popular music.’ and so on. Oh what a joy to have people in your life who love you for who you are and no matter what you do. It inspires you to mature and be the best you can be. True true true!
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Brie, I am so glad that you are letting your inner you shine! It is such a liberating feeling to live life as yourself. I’m so happy to hear that you are strutting your stuff proudly and not hiding from the imit-haters!
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Brilliant piece! I can quite relate to your childhood I think- only I was too scary for anyone to attempt to knock down! Goodness, I am sorry you went through that. Had I been there, that bully would have been promptly flattened by me.
Har har I was often called, “The Crazy-Eye” for the formidable contorted looks I tossed at anyone who dared to challenge me. This usually sent children away screaming. Then I could happily be by myself to dig holes, read, catch toads, dance to Simon and Garfunkel (I loved my bright green cassette player!) and of course, pick buttercups to eat. 😉
I greatly admire your “weirdness” and am so glad that you have embraced your true self and have not been afraid to reveal it to the world- THAT is a very liberating and inspiring kind of courage. Very inspiring!
Superb post. I loved every word. Well-done, to say the least!! Smiling cheers,
Autumn Jade
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Thank you so much. I think we should all embrace our inner weirdness. Thank you for sharing your story about the crazy eyes, simon and garfunkel and green cassette player days. We certainly have some good stories to share. I enjoyed it!
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This is absolutely amazing! Honestly one of the best things I’ve read. As I was reading it made me think of Ralph Waldo Emerson! You touch on very similar subjects and topics, and it really makes me smile. Two that really stood out in my head as I was reading this were Emerson’s “Envy is ignorance, imitation is suicide” and Shaw’s “Life isn’t about finding yourself, but creating yourself”. If you haven’t already heard those maybe they could help inspire your next piece! Whatever it is, I can’t wait to hear it!!
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Wow, what a compliment! I have a soft spot for Emerson and Shaw and “Self-Reliance” has always been one of my favorites. The quotes you reference are so spot-on. Interestingly, I quoted Emerson in my response to another blogger this afternoon: “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” They are all so fitting and inspirational. Don’t be surprised if it does prompt my next post. Thank you!
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Great post 😄
I have no idea what normal is and what is considered normal I always thought was weird.
I love your term imit-haters. People like that baffle me and its a bit insulting. They’re stating its weird and awful when I do it but yet if they do it’s cool because they can somehow pull it off better??
I know I’m weird but that weirdness is what I like to call Loulou. You’ll never find another one like me in the world😊
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I love this, Loulou. Aren’t imit-haters just so difficult to understand? You are absolutely right, though. In the end, we can only be ourselves. 🙂
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I think a little weird is a must for normal….. Otherwise it would be so boring. Nice post.
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I agree!
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I
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I think my computer was ahead of my brain, lol. Anyway, I LOVE the way you write, Olivia! 🙂 I’ve wanted to change my having Cerebral Palsy, and be “normal.” But if I was “normal,” I wouldn’t have the viewpoint of the world as I do. I may be slower walking than most, but there is a lot to be seen in slowing down. Like how incredibly fast the world is. It’s crazy.
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Julia, can I love your comment instead of just liking it? That is inspiring and your positive energy is contagious. Keep doing what you are doing. Your writing is beautiful. Thank you so much for the compliment and for taking the time to read.
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You’re welcome. 🙂 Thank you. Too bad there isn’t a love button, haha. ❤
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Thanking you kindly for the follow to my blog. I’m so over joyed to welcome a new friend to my blog (home). I loved reading your post today and I can totally relate to what you posted. Take care and happy blogging to ya… 🙂
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Yes, I love making new friends in the blogosphere! Thank you for reading 🙂
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Well, as Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself; everyone else is taken.”
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I just shared a version of the same quote without seeing your comment. Maybe we think alike 😊
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I think we’re on the same wire!
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One of my favorites!
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I said “screw normal” a very long time ago, and my writing on my Website, http://www.jungsturmnordsternekompanie.com clearly shows that. Check it out, if you are so inclined.
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Hey lady. Yeah for making new blog-friends! I love this post.
I was just reading a quote about being yourself because all the other roles are taken. I have always celebrated my weirdness and eccentricity. I pride myself on it.
I think that’s the only way to really be me.
Great post! Keep them coming!😊
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Hello, Karen. Yes, I love making new blog-friends! Thank you so much. I Look forward to reading more posts from you.
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That was simply beautiful! 💖👏
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Thank you, Sharen!
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I think both you and Doctor Seuss have got it absolutely right.
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Wonderful message! I enjoyed as a fellow very UNnormal nerd 🙂
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As they say, imitation’s the most sincerest form of flattery (even if it comes disguised in negativity).
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Thank you for the post ❤
From socially awkward, a nerd, a robot and a geek.
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Reblogged this on violettripplehorn.
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This is a pretty awesome read. Thanks for it.
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I like the helpful information you provide in your articles.
I’ll bookmark your blog and check again here frequently.
I’m quite certain I will learn lots of new stuff right here!
Good luck for the next!
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YES! TRUTH!
I grew up a gifted child, but my folks didn’t know what to do with me and they were fighting their own battles with their dark personal histories, which they wouldn’t open up about until the last few years.
I spent a lot of time alone, and in school I read fantasy/horror novels, was artistic, played the violin – they didn’t understand me, but they always tried to be supportive.
This post speaks to me SO. MUCH. I had overalls, and He-Man toys that came from the flea market, like most of my stuff.
I am following your blog and reblogging this on Mudder of Dragons. Very nice to meet you!
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So nice to meet you too! I love that this post resonated with you – and that we share that special He-Man/overall connection that only the coolest of the cool understand! I look forward to reading more from you as well 🙂
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Reblogged this on Mudder of Dragons and commented:
I LOVED this woman’s take on ‘normalcy’ and the pointlessness of trying to chase it.
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Reblogged this on Rielly Beckner.
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One rarely goes wrong with Dr. Seuss. Unless one is a slug. Then not much else can go wrong. What an excellent, well, written post.
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