I was sitting at a conference table on Wednesday afternoon in the middle of a real estate closing. My client’s mortgage representative made a statement that lingered with me for quite some time: “Sometimes, you just have to say ‘yes.’ Shake a man’s hand. You know, make a deal.” He was speaking about interest rate fluctuations, the secondary mortgage market, minimum liquidity requirements; about how the longer you wait for that “better rate” or that “better deal,” you miss out on (what could be) your best opportunity. As I sat across from him at that chestnut-colored table, analyzing his message through the glare of a late afternoon sun, I took his statement to express a message which was far more meaningful – a message which stretched beyond the mortgage realm into the reality of everyday life.
Yes.
As a seven-year-old sitting in a blue combo desk in a second grade classroom, I completely misunderstood the meaning of that word (Note: English was my second language). For in the middle of a lecture in seed planting or multiplication strategies, my teacher asked me a question that required a simple yes or no answer. Firmly planting my jelly sandals on the floor, I stood and responded with resounding confidence, “RED!” My teacher tried to subdue a snickering laugh and crouched down beside me to whisper, “Oh, sweetie. ‘Red’ is a color. ‘Yes’ is a term of agreement.”
Well. Clearly I had confused the meaning of that word somewhere along the line.
Yes.
It wasn’t soon after that language debacle when I learned the correct meaning of “yes,” just like I learned the meaning of “no.” We all have, and from a very young age. No, don’t eat that. No, don’t touch that. No, don’t eat two cookies – you already had one. By the way, that last example still remains shamefully relevant in my adult years. The point is, we have heard “no” so many times that it has become a somewhat automated response; a knee-jerk reaction of sorts. For our instinct is to say no … whenever we are scared, whenever we are nervous, whenever we are uncertain, or skeptical or flat out lazy. If you were standing 29,029 feet above sea level at the peak of Mount Everest, raising your insulated gloves into the air and smiling behind a frost-covered face mask, and your friend asked you to jump off, what would you say? What if someone offered you a job in Italy, providing no information as to what the job entails or what your living arrangements will be, but can only offer you a timeline and a promise – that you have one night to decide and that everything will work out just fine. What would you say? Most likely no, right? The Mount Everest example illustrates a necessary and straightforward “no.” We have no doubt in our negative response, well, because we know what would happen if we jump. The Italy example, however, correlates to other decisions we may encounter where our instinct is to say “no” but we fail to give the decision must thought at all. The challenge isn’t in saying “no” when we have to; when we need to protect ourselves or our families. The difficulty lies in saying “yes” when our immediate response is to say “no,” and in that moment being able to consider what could be out there or what we could be missing out on.
Yes.
You see, saying “no” in situations like the Italy example is easy. “No” is succumbing to doubt, to fear and to resistance. It’s equivalent to my living room couch after a long day, to pajamas, popcorn and Netflix on a rainy night. In other words, it’s comfortable. Saying “no” is shutting the door. It’s avoiding what could be out there … because avoiding is easier than facing it head on. But when we do this, when we say “no” before thinking it out, before giving it a real chance, we are depriving ourselves; of what could be out there; of opportunities and discoveries and adventure; of that new job or that new friend; of life and love and everything else in between.
Yes.
Saying “yes” in these situations is difficult. It goes against our instinct to run and hide. It requires courage and a leap of faith. “Yes” means overcoming resistance and trusting that everything will turn out just fine … and if it doesn’t … it’s okay because you gave it a shot. Where “no” shuts the doors, “yes” opens them up and leads us to opportunities, to possibilities, to discoveries and adventure. About two years ago, someone asked me if I would consider joining Eharmony to embark on the journey of online dating. You may have guessed what my instinctual response was: Absolutely not. But guess what? I created an account, completed that laborious 436-count relationship questionnaire and a few days later I was matched with a handsome guy named Brian who whisked me away – literally to Applebee’s on a first date and figuratively off my feet. It was the best decision I ever made … the best “yes” I ever gave to what could have been a “no.”
Yes.
So, through all of this babble about yes’s and no’s and my tango with Eharmony, what I am trying to say is …. Say Yes. Say yes to what scares you. Say yes to what makes you nervous yet peaks your ever-climbing curiosity. Say yes to that lunch meeting. You may meet a new friend. Say yes to that out-of-state move or that new career. You are never too old for a fresh start. Say yes to love. Your heart will thank you. Say yes to you, to me, to us, to everyone, because yes is living …. and who knows …
Yes may change your life.
What is the biggest “yes” that you ever gave? Have you ever said “yes” to something that has changed your life? Share your story with me!
Tagged: blogging, happiness, inspiration, life, positivity, wednesday, writing, yes
Reblogged this on my personal thing.
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Thank you for sharing and for the compliment!
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That’s okay 🙂
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Yes! Just smile and the world changes. Simple. (Love your pic indeed) thank you for sharing this. 😉
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Thank you for reading, Jade! Let your smile change the world. You know that’s one of my favorite quotes!
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Excellent post!
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Thank you, Roger!
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Hands down, my biggest “yes” was when I agreed to draft my very first post for my daughter’s blog, which of course, eventually led to my own blog. As I approach retirement, writing has become my life and my passion.
PS: Thanks for the follow. Hope you’ll continue to be entertained (I’m sure you will be!).
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I’m so glad to hear! I had an opportunity to browse through your site yesterday. In addition to your writing, I especially enjoy the pictures of your dog, Cody. My boyfriend’s family also has a dog named Cody. He’s a white boxer, though, but still – I love the connection! Thank you for reading and I hope you stop by again soon 🙂
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Thanks for finding me!
I thought Cody was such an unusual name, until so many bloggers have commented that they have, or know, dogs with the same name.
It was like when we named our black German Shepherd. My husband thought he had picked the perfect, most unique name: Riggs (after the main character in the Lethal Weapon movies). The breeder just shook her head – apparently a LOT of her customers called their dogs Riggs.
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Amazing how one little world can change your life. I enjoyed reading this post. Thank you!
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Thank you, Majean! Adding that little bit of positivity into life is difficult, but certainly life changing. I love all of the photography on your sit and I am looking forward to reading more about your adventures! I’m happy to make a new blogger connection. Take care!
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Aww thank you! Looking forward to reading more of your posts as well!
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I am the biggest coward, always worried about failing or looking like a fool. By protecting myself, by not trying, by saying “No”, I miss a lot.
Saying “Yes ” is better, absolutely. If I could only make myself say it 🙂
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First of all, let me say that I am all about the first sentence of your “About” section: “I like dessert better than real food.” Can we be friends?! Thank you so much for reading and for sharing your thoughts. I, too, say “no” at many times to protect myself. The key is to consider the alternative when your first instinct is to run and hide. It’s a work in progress, but certainly worth pursuing 🙂
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The night before I went to Australia as an exchange student in 1990, my parents’ friend and neighbor gave me the best advice ever. He said, “Denise, you will have many opportunities this year. Some will seem odd. Some will seem silly and dull. Some will seem amazing. Whatever is offered – say yes. Do it all. You never know if you’ll get another chance.”
That year, I said YES to everything – and had the best year of my young life. I still say yes to more than most (so others tell me) and it has always been worth it.
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I love it, Dee. You know, after clicking “publish” on this post my brother informed me of a movie from 2008 entitled “Yes Man” starring Jim Carey, where he must say “yes” to everything for an entire year. I haven’t seen the movie, so I’m not sure how that turned out for him – but I love how your saying “yes” to everything in that year led to the best moments!
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It can certainly lead to some memorable moments – and great stories! Like the time I kicked the Premier of Tasmania in the back of the head. Or the time we accepted an invitation to dinner and ended up picking ticks out of a blue tongued lizard. You never know what can happen!
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Ha! Wow! I am just going to live vicariously through you from now on – until I finally make it to Australia and can finally share my own escapades 🙂
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Need a tour guide? 😉
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I said yes to myself when I wanted to move to New York City. I said yes to the man who asked me to come home and spend my life with him. Both of these decisions to say yes changed my life for the better 100%. I said yes to myself when I realized I wanted to quit my teaching job to be able to spend everyday with my son. Every time I have said yes, I have been better off.
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Those are all fantastic YES’s, Jenn. I’m so glad that you can relate! By the way, Bug is adorable. I am looking forward to reading more posts from you – and going along with the theme of your blog, Namaste 🙂
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Reblogged this on aimerboyz and commented:
Step outside your comfort zone one “Yes” at a time :
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Thank you for sharing!
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Superb
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Why thank you for the compliment and for the share! 🙂
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Reblogged this on violettripplehorn.
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