Accepting Life Truths: People (and friendships) Change
Posted on November 10, 2014
In life there are lots of constants: Day and night. Time. The seasons. In a world that embodies a kaleidoscope of varying shades and landscapes, a sphere which is constantly shifting and changing, we can rely on some elements to remain static. However, one of the most difficult truths that we, as humans, are forced to accept is that, unlike these factors, things change and, sometimes, so do people.
The only thing that is constant is change – Heraclitus
The inspiration behind this post stems from an uncomfortable encounter I experienced on Saturday night. As I mingled amongst friends at a local restaurant, an old friend passed by me in a whirl of energy. My use of the term “old” is not meant to reference a long-lasting friendship, but to describe a former friend, someone who ended our friendship about ten years ago. From childhood to adulthood, through shared birthdays and graduations, this was someone who was always a constant in my life. However, we began to drift apart after high school and then, one day, she uttered the words which continued to echo over time: our friendship is over.
I was confused and, most importantly, I was hurt. These were conclusive words, ultimate words, words which connoted finality. I couldn’t begin to comprehend how a friend, a best friend, could walk away without hesitation, without any doubt, leaving me behind in the shadow of our memories; how a statement like this could be made with complete disregard for my feelings. A few months later, my father was faced with what (thankfully) ended up constituting just a cancer scare. However, during this time of uncertainty, I needed my friend. I needed my best friend. I reached out to her, but she stood firm in her decision –and I had to let her go.
I searched within myself for answers to this manifest question: why did she leave? Years later, I understood why I failed at finding an answer. Simply put, there was no reason. She and I developed different interests. Life pulled us in different directions. There was no need to harbor guilt or continue to question. This change in our friendship, this change in us, exemplified a persistently fluctuating world.
As I glanced at her from across the bar on Saturday night, I realized that I was at peace. She had her life and I had mine – and I was okay with that.
The overarching message here? Inevitably, there will be friends who come and go – but the ones who stay are there for a reason.
Cherish those who remain a constant.