Oh, I am a sucker for a good quote. To me, quotes represent wisdom past, the whisper of a brilliant mind from a distant place, a reminder that words last forever … far after we are gone. A majority of my favorite quotes are from my favorite literary works. I established quite the collection during my studies as an English major. I would often underline, fold over, tab, highlight (you name it) my favorite passages in my favorite books – Hence why I find the transition into electronic books so unbearably difficult.

Here is a list of just a few of my favorites.

Do you have a favorite quote? What does it mean to you?

Categories: Words of Wisdom

Tagged: blogging, life, literature, quotes, writing

Are You a Planner? On Planning the Sometimes Unplannable.

loveandolive

Posted on January 21, 2015

Do you consider yourself to be a planner? Or are you more of a spontaneous, go-with-the-flow kind of person? Well, I, for one have always preferred to plan things out. I just like the unwavering quality behind it; the security of having things set and ready to go. Consistent with this topic, I must mention my love for to-do lists. Ahh, to-do lists – the epitome of organized planning. They provide instant organization to the sometimes unorganizable aspects of life. Moreover, crossing things off of the to-do list? That just provides me with an insurmountable amount of glee. Food Shopping – Check. Send important email – Check. Pick up dry cleaning – Check. I may even add a meaningless item to the list, just for the opportunity to draw an elongated, bright, red line through it. Get through Monday – Check. Perhaps yet another reason why my boyfriend and I get along so well is that he, too, appreciates the benefits of a good to-do list.

This is Brian’s to-do list from last May.

Speaking of planning, my boyfriend and I are currently planning the next few years of our lives together. We are moving in together this summer, which is such an exciting next step for us. We just completed a detailed budget of our joint finances to determine what we can afford – in order to make the best decision for the both of us. Rent or buy? Townhome or condominium? What town? Well, that, my friends is the plan for this year. But next year? Next year is not as clear. You see, my boyfriend is finishing medical school and will be applying to a U.S. hospital for a position as a resident physician. However, the ultra-competitive residency program leaves little room for secured planning. You interview at a hospital, you rank those hospitals in order of your favorite, and then the system “matches” or places you at a hospital of its choosing. As a result, we don’t know where my boyfriend will be placed and, consequently, where we will be living next year. Will we remain in the “Garden State” of New Jersey? Will we be Virginia-ites? Will we be interviewing the security of tornado shelters in Oklahoma? The possibilities are endless. The only thing I know for certain, amidst this whirlwind of potential locales, is that wherever Brian is placed, he will have me by his side.

Through all of this, certain life truths have risen to the surface of realization. Sure, some things are capable of being planned. Food shopping, emails, dry cleaning – these are all items which can be placed on a to-do list for us to conjunctively tackle and cross off with that delightful red line. But other things aren’t as easily planned. Take next year’s locale, for example, which leaves an element of uncertainty for Brian and me. But do you know what? It’s okay. As much as I love planning and to-do lists, I have learned not to fear the unknown – for there is beauty in uncertainty. The unplanned is not a cause for fear or anxiety. Instead, it can be viewed as an adventure; an endless opportunity for surprise and wonder. No matter what happens or which way the road takes us (literally), everything will be okay as long as we have each other.

So, if you consider yourself to be a planner and find yourself facing unplannable events, just breathe. Whatever life throws at you, whatever uncertainties or unknowns come your way, think of it as an adventure. The universe has a way of making sure we end up right where we belong.

So, don’t fret, my planning friends. Raise your catcher’s mitt in the air and, with confidence, say in response to life’s uncertainties: I’ve got this.

You’ve got this.

So, tell me. Do you consider yourself to be a planner? Or are you a spontaneous, go-with-the-flow kind of person?

Categories: Tidbits on Life

Tagged: blogging, faith, happiness, life, love, planning, writing

Go Ahead, Laugh it Off. Invoking The Power of Laughter.

loveandolive

Posted on January 9, 2015

When is the last time you laughed? I mean really laughed – to the point where your stomach hurt, your eyes teared and you couldn’t breathe? It feels good, doesn’t it? Laughing like that reminds me of my cousin, Leyla, who moved to Wyoming about five years ago. No matter what the occasion, we would always find a reason to join together in a roar of laughter. I’m almost certain that we found the work “fork”’ ragingly funny at one point and, mind you, this was during our pre-wine days. Anyway, those who really know me understand that I love to laugh. If you had a chance to read my post on “Normalcy,” you would know that I have a high pitched one (laugh, I mean), which I seem to utilize at the most inappropriate times – when a room is silent, for example. But for a few seconds or (if I’m lucky) a few, long minutes, laughing makes me forget about work, about responsibilities, about where I am or what I have to do. In that stomach-hurting-eye-tearing moment, I am the happiest version of myself. This is a picture of my girlfriends and me two summers ago at the Jon Bon Jovi concert. That’s me in the white sweater. As you can see, I am in the middle of one serious chuckle. Just looking at this picture makes me smile.

Laughter is powerful, and notably a tool that we too often underestimate. Have you ever read into the benefits of laughing? Research suggests that it can strengthen the immune system, improve cardiac health and lower blood pressure. Even forcing yourself to laugh is said to reduce stress and improve your mood.

Yeah, so that sounds great. Where can I sign up?

Of course, as is life, the answer isn’t simple. Sure, it’s easy to laugh in response to something funny or when things are going splendidly well. I have mastered that art. But can laughter really help us through tough times? If you, like me, ever found yourself in a rut impossible to crawl out of, you are probably skeptical. Here’s the question I ask myself when things are going terribly wrong: How can you expect me to laugh at times when all I want to do is cry? To me, the actions of laughing and crying lie on opposite ends of the spectrum of emotional reactions. On one end, you have the ultimate in happiness and on the other, the ultimate in sadness. With that said, I tried to think back to a time during which I felt absolutely horrendous, yet somehow successfully substituted crying with laughter …and then I remembered the following example.

A few years ago, on a cold day in February, I traveled to Whippany, New Jersey to take the New Jersey Bar Exam. I had been studying for months, pouring my heart and soul into preparing for a two-day exam that was bound to change my life.

My mother took this picture of me studying for the Bar Exam. Even the Red Bull couldn’t keep me awake.

On day one, I arrived at the test site and found my assigned seat among thousands of others. The test was about to begin, so I decided to use the restroom one last time. I was wearing divinely comfortable drawstring yoga pants (You may wonder why this detail is relevant, but I promise it bears great significance so keep reading). When I finished my business, the drawstring on my pants gave out. In other words, my pants broke. Just like that. With only a few minutes until show time, I needed to conjure up a creative way to (literally) pull myself together. Naturally, I tucked my pants into my underwear, hoping like hell that this would hold them up, and walked back into the exam room with a slow, uncomfortable shuffle. On top of that, an unexpected blizzard commenced which necessitated an overnight stay at a local hotel. The only available room was in a not-so-pleasant motel, which stunk of an undefinable odor I would rather not recall. On top of that, I had another day of a tortuous exam to look forward to. I was buried underneath a mountain of stress and all I wanted to do was crawl up into a ball of misery and cry. The only consolation was that I had just ordered delicious, cheesy pizza for delivery. Now, any established pizza lover will understand that, when you are hungry, pizza tastes even more amazing …and I was famished. I waited for what felt like eternity for that delicious pie of cheesy heaven to walk into my room and save this horrendous day. But when the delivery man knocked on my door two hours later (yes, two hours), I bit into that ice-cold pizza and I laughed, and laughed, and laughed. And do you know what? It worked. I felt noticeably better!

I guess the bottom line is that there’s no law against crying when you really need to. Sometimes, you just need to. However, maybe it is possible to maintain a healthy balance between the two; laughing and crying, I mean. Here’s a quote by Veronica Roth from “Divergent”: “Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels better right now.” So when we have the option, how do we choose the latter?

Maybe it’s by not taking ourselves too seriously. When you fall in public or otherwise embarrass yourself (as I often do), choose to laugh it off. We all fumble and fall. Maybe it’s by appreciating the story we will tell after things go terribly wrong. Hey, I passed the Bar Exam and now have this slightly and moderately entertaining story to share. Maybe it’s by finding your personal funny trigger when you are having a feel-like-crying kind of day (i.e. comedic movie, funny YouTube video, silly memes, etc.). Maybe it’s by appreciating the bigger picture; by remembering that tough times are fleeting and even the darkest days give way to the sun. Did your pants break? It’s okay. Did your car break down? It’s okay. Need a root canal? Missed your bus? Failed an exam? Lost your job? It’s okay. Do you know why? Because the bigger picture is, you are alive.

I sure don’t have all of the answers. But what I do know is that being alive – that is reason enough to celebrate living … and laugh while doing it.

Quote by Mark Twain.

Have you ever successfully invoked the power of laughter during tough times? Did it work?

Categories: Tidbits on Life

Tagged: blogging, friday, happiness, inspiration, laughter, life, postoftheday, writing

Happy Holidays, New York.

loveandolive

Posted on December 29, 2014

What an unseasonably warm Sunday in New York City. Although Christmas has come and gone, all of the streets and avenues of the Big Apple were alive with people who were, like us, partaking in some post-holiday fun. My sweet boyfriend bought me tickets to see the Radio City Christmas Spectacular (my first time seeing the show). You know, I have lived thirty minutes away from this City for my entire life, yet at times I feel that I have taken that closeness for granted. When I am here, I remember what I love about being here. No matter what day, no matter what hour, New York never sleeps. The lights, the moving banners across Times Square, the curbside venders, the pretzel stands …I love all of it. As the taxi cabs, the double-decker buses and the swift moving pedestrians speed past me, I feel alive among it all.

The show, as its name suggests, was spectacular. The Rockettes were talented and supremely entertaining. The show in its totality was bright, energetic and chock full of dancing-in-your-seat fun. The snack prices, just like the show, were spectacular, too – Was the $6.00 bottle of diet soda filled with magic or something?! When the show concluded, we left the theater and enjoyed the weather, and the lights, and everything else in between. Thank you, Brian, for the gift and for the experience. We really lucked out with the weather! Below are some highlights from our New York adventure.

Have you ever visited the Big Apple or seen the show? What was your experience like?

Categories: Photographic Memories

Tagged: adventure, bigapple, blogging, happynewyear, holidays, inspiration, life, newyork, nyc, writing

Have a Choice to Make? Read This. Exploring the Difficulty of Having Too Many Choices.

loveandolive

Posted on December 22, 2014

Have you ever selected a choice, out of a boatload of other, similarly well-qualified choices, and thought to yourself, “Did I make the right one?” Uh huh. I’ve been there. On many occasions, my rapacious self has entered a restaurant wherein I was forced to make a decision. Do I get the sirloin or the chicken francaise? The salmon or the pasta? An appetizer? What kind of wine? Red? White? The items on any given menu blur into one form of head-scratching perplexity. When my order is delivered, I gaze at my neighbor’s dish in admiration and, exhaling an exasperated and elongated sigh, I mutter the following: I wish I ordered that instead.

Image © leungchopan/Fotolia.com

That’s the beauty of living in the free world, isn’t it? It’s the freedom of choice. At any given time and at any given place, we have a multitude of options to sift through and choose from. Our actions are not constrained by someone on the outside telling us what to do, or what to say, or what to wear. We have choices … and a lot of them. In fact, due to the accessibility of everything in this modern world, our options have increased even more. Fifty years ago, cream cheese was, well, simply cream cheese. Now, at least ten varieties are stocked on the shelves of the supermarket: plain, strawberry, garden vegetable, chive and onion, blueberry, honey pecan, smoked salmon, caramel. From choosing your meal at a restaurant, to choosing a car, to choosing your dream home, to choosing a baby name, to choosing a flavor of cream cheese spread, our options appear endless. And with more to choose from, it is inherently implied that our decisions are easier made, right? Well, wrong. The decision actually becomes more difficult and, oftentimes, leaves you less than satisfied as a result.

Perhaps it is because with more choices comes more opportunities for regret, – more “I should have done this” or “I should have done that.” After a decision is made, we dwell on the possibility that we made the wrong one; and with more options on the table, there are more chances for missed opportunities. Sure, decisions would be easier if we had one option to choose from: if, for example, plain cream cheese was the only choice we had. However, in utilizing this example, there are almost ten chances that you will not be satisfied with your selection.

Let’s examine our typical decision-making process. When we select a choice, we do so by considering a slew of elements that assist us in reaching that conclusion. For instance, let’s say I wish to relocate out of New Jersey to another state. In making this decision, I may conduct a side-by-side comparison of my options, considering location, cost of living and weather conditions. Do I select New York? California? Florida? Virginia? There are a lot of choices, but the fact that I prefer warm weather over cold may steer me towards Florida – which represents one option out of the forty-nine others. This decision, this choice, was decided by examining the elements available to me at the time I made it. However, when I am in Florida, let’s say I find the August heat to be unbearable and, as a result, I scorn myself for choosing that state and, just like the restaurant example, I mutter, “I knew I should have chosen Virginia instead.” The point is, after a choice is made, it is inevitable that circumstances may change. Facts may change. Things may not be laid out the same now as they were then when we made the choice. In hindsight, we mistake these changes in circumstance and fact to mean that we erred in our choices. We second guess ourselves, we get down on ourselves, instead of remembering what made us choose that route in the first place. This, in essence, is the difficulty in having too many choices. Not to mention, the process of sifting through and deciding on one is burdensome, time consuming and stressful.

Okay, so what is the bottom line?

Remember, a choice that is made will always be wrong for some reason, but it will always be right for some reason as well. After making a choice, reflect on the elements that helped you reach that decision, not on how things are laid out after the fact. Whether you are choosing between regular cream cheese and honey pecan cream cheese or between a career in law or medicine, understand that there is no right or wrong choice. Trust your decision-making skills. Follow your gut. Don’t second guess yourself. And if it helps, set your expectations low. That way, you will never be disappointed.

Have you ever experienced an inner battle when deciding between a multitude of choices? If so, how did you handle it? What is the biggest choice that you ever had to make?

Categories: Tidbits on Life

Tagged: blogging, choices, decisions, freedom, freeworld, happiness, inspiration, life, wisdom, writing

Tradition. What Does it Mean to You?

loveandolive

Posted on December 18, 2014

Tradition. Oh, you know: Christmas trees, Thanksgiving turkey, Mother’s Day brunch, fall pumpkin carving, birthday cakes, Sunday pancakes …This could take all day. I’m a sucker for a good tradition. I just love the sense of continuity and cohesion behind it. The sense that tradition can withstand time, from generation to generation, and that we, as participants, can watch it grow and evolve. Second, the power that tradition holds to bring families together, the sense of harmony that it affords. The customs, beliefs and practices that we share with our loved ones are oftentimes derived from what has been passed down to us, or from what we established on our own. In a world that is constantly shifting and changing, tradition in its essence offers us a sense of stability. Even when our surroundings change, we can rely on traditions to remain just as we left them. They offer us a glimpse into the past, to where we have come from, along with providing a hint of what is yet to come.

I just had a deliciously sweet weekend chock full of tradition. No, I am not just referring to the overabundance of cheesecake, cookies and cannolis at Aunt Renee’s annual Christmas party. I am referring to the Christmas-tree-shopping-and-decorating goodness that comes with the holiday season. This year marked the second year that Brian and I hunted for a Christmas tree; in other words, a continuation of our own tradition. We arrived at a small lot, a wide variety of live trees displayed under globe lights strung overhead. After we found “the one” and drove it home, Brian carried the tree inside while I crazily followed him around like an irritating Paparazzi member, recording videos and snapping photographs to engrain this year into our photographic memories. After the tree was set in its stand, lingering pine needles vacuumed, we admired ornaments collected over many years of Christmases and strung them over the tips of the seven-foot Douglass Fir. Grandma assisted in wrapping white lights around the perimeter. We strapped a makeshift Santa hat and beard combination around the head of their not-so-pleased white boxer, Cody. We decorated to Christmas music, the Yule log burning in the background. Over dinner, we discussed how this was our second year picking and decorating, and we daydreamed about continuing the tradition … someday with children of our own.

Okay, so this was only year two for us. But tradition is tradition, whether it has been established for centuries, or decades or years … or even when it has just begun. The important part? Establishing a custom or practice which gives you that sweet, feel-good spirit inside; a custom that makes you look forward to continuing it into the future, watching the tradition grow and evolve, with more memories and with more love.

Here are some of my favorite shots from my tradition filled weekend:

Are traditions important to you? What traditions do you maintain? Have you started ones of your own?

Categories: Straight From The Heart

Tagged: blogging, christmas, december, happiness, happythursday, tradition, trees, writing

On Flying Time: Can We Do Anything to Slow it Down?

loveandolive

Posted on December 10, 2014

Time Flies. When you’re having fun? When you’re standing still? Having babies? In love? You’ve heard the longstanding adage before. What does it mean to you? And the bigger question is: What can you do to slow it down? To me, time is moving at lightning speed. One day, I was welcoming the summer sun in my mesh-covered beach chair, listening to the squawk of seagulls at a late June sundown. The next day, it was December. Just like that. As we get older, that phrase “time flies” takes on a meaning of greater significance. With the blink of an eye, years transpire and we suddenly find ourselves older versions of what we used to be, with more responsibility and with less, well, time. Time is flying – and we are chasing it with everything we’ve got.

Do you remember summer vacations when we were kids? From riding bicycles to catching fireflies, three months represented an eternity of possibility and unadulterated joy. Back then, we anticipated getting older, interjecting ourselves into adult conversations, clunking around in high heel shoes, rounding our ages up in halves. I remember watching my mother wash dishes as a little girl. “I can do that,” I would proudly announce from below. And standing a foot taller on my powder pink step stool, I would roll the yellow gloves to my shoulders, sponging a pan too heavy for me to lift. Those were the uncomplicated days. The carefree days. The days when time appeared as limitless as our imaginations.

And then we got what we wished for. Suddenly, we had college degrees and jobs and relationships and houses and cars and kids. Did I mention responsibility? When did all of that happen? Possibly around the same time when the colorful, striped birthday candles were replaced with big numbered ones. Nothing screams “fun” like the numbers 3 and 1 atop a strawberry sheet cake. But why does time seem to be moving faster than it used to? The answer? It’s not. The minute hand does not make any more revolutions around the clock when you turn thirty, or forty, or fifty. The number of hours in one day has not decreased. The clock ticks the same way now as it did back then. So what has changed? Maybe it is because, when we were kids, we didn’t think too much of it. We savored new experiences and the excitement of each of life’s “Firsts.” I am referring to the firsts of everything: first bike ride, first pet, first kiss, first love, etc. We perceived time to move slowly as children because each experience and each discovery was a new “first” for us. Everything was more memorable because it never happened before and, thus, the days seemed to last longer. Each day, whether with worms or bugs or secret hiding spots, we relished in new discoveries. We didn’t feel the pressure of life as we do now. We just lived.

In this deadline-driven world, we run on autopilot. We wake up, brew our coffees, eat our Cheerios, drive our cars and zip to and from work, school and appointments. Our days are routinized. We stress about having enough time … all of the time. Glancing at your wristwatch at 12 a.m., project deadline looming, you may have mumbled to yourself at one point or another, “If only I had just one more hour.”

Businessman chasing a time - Time and tide wait for no man

Maybe it isn’t time that is flying – maybe it’s just us. Maybe we are all moving too damn fast. Okay, sure. There is no magic delete button which rids our lives of responsibility and pressure. It comes with the territory of being a responsible and successful adult, right? But perhaps we can slow ourselves down just a bit. Of course, I’m not suggesting that we stop hustling and bustling completely. We need to keep moving to support ourselves and our families. However, perhaps we can create a balance between working, and working to make new memories, to making new Firsts. Perhaps we can commit to relishing in new discoveries, just as we did when we were bicycle riding, firefly catching kids.

So, let’s not waste too much time thinking about time. Instead, let’s focus on making the most of it. Let’s live like we did when we were kids, in the now and to the absolute fullest.

Let’s jump atop the wings of time, strap ourselves on, and enjoy the ride, my friends.

Categories: Tidbits on Life

Tagged: adulthood, blogging, children, happiness, inspiration, life, postoftheday, pressure, slowitdown, society, stress, time, timeflies, writing

Are You Normal? Defining Normalcy in a World of Imit-Haters

loveandolive

Posted on December 3, 2014

What is normal? Are you normal? Am I normal? Are we all normal? Webster’s Dictionary defines the term as “usual or ordinary; not strange.” When we ask ourselves these questions, or when we respond to the next statement in parenthesis, as I often do (you’re so weird), do you ever wonder by whose standard we are judging ourselves against? What does Webster know about being normal, anyway?

Growing up, I was always a little, well, different. My teeth were crooked. I had a high pitched laugh. I was a little nerdy. Okay, very nerdy. I was also sheltered so, hence, extremely socially awkward. I walked around with a bull’s eye pasted across my chest, serving as a moving target for the big bad bullies who continuously pushed me around. No, really – I mean that in the most literal sense. Every afternoon in the second grade, I would skip across the school parking lot in my OshKosh B’gosh overalls and my He-Man book bag. (How is that for an image of cool?) And every afternoon, this one boy would push me down. He would just walk up to me and say “you’re weird” and then push me, for no reason at all, every single day.

For many years I tried, albeit unsuccessfully, to conform to the notion of normalcy as defined by everyone around me. We all do it. Shape magazine publishes an article on a slim-down diet, features a slender model overexcitedly eating an apple and we decide, “Yep. I want to look like that.” You convince yourself that you should look like that – because that is normal – and what you look like is not. Each year, millions across the globe are steered under the knives of plastic surgeons that tuck and lift because stretch marks, sagging skin, wrinkles, small breasts … none of that is normal. But according to who? Your favorite celebrity? Mainstream media? The fashion industry? Your coworkers? Your friends? Who decides the standard by which we judge what is normal?

Sometimes, we are influenced by imit-haters. Yes, that’s right, the imit-haters – the opinionated portion of the population who hate first, then imitate later. These are the people who insistently mock you for choosing an iPhone over a Samsung, wearing red shoes, shopping at Walmart, shaving your head, listening to jazz and, well, you get the idea. You may have heard it before: “Seriously? You’re so weird. I can’t stand [fill in blank].” Soon thereafter, these same people will be doing, wearing and liking the same things they initially criticized you for. In other words, they judge you based on their standard of normalcy, then hypocritically go against that same standard.
huh_450
I have tried to conform to the notion of normalcy imposed by society. It never worked. Do you know why? Because the quirks about me that others identified as oddities made me, well, me. Sure, at the core we all share the same single fundamental characteristic. We are all human beings. However, our genetic makeups and independent environmental triggers create distinguishing characteristics between us from physical appearances to mental abilities. The entire world is comprised of seven billion people of different shapes, colors, religions, ethnicities, personalities and in this mishmash of diversity, there is not one person who will ever be identical to you. You will always be a smidgen different than the rest. You will forever be you to the core; not her, not him, but you. What is so wrong with that? Why do we insist on imitating others, on trying to change ourselves, when there is beauty in variety, in uniqueness? Because someone else thinks that we are weird?

youre-weird-wood-print Twenty something years have expired since those Oshkosh B’gosh days and a multitude of things have changed. My numerical age, for one, my vertical height, lingual abilities and the faint definition of laugh lines. Notwithstanding all of that, certain things have remained the same. I still burst a high-pitched laugh when something is ragingly funny. I am still (and will forever be) very nerdy. I tell bad jokes, dance in public and sing to myself. But do you know what? My boyfriend loves all of this about me. That quirk, that small, diminutive distinctiveness about yourself that you may try to change is a quality that someone will eventually fall in love with.

Can we think about this for a moment?

Maybe, just maybe, being normal is what is weird. Normal is boring, repetitive and average. Weird is unique, distinctive and original. Stretch marks are beautiful. Laughs are inimitable. Wrinkles tell a story. Be proud of what sets you apart from the rest.

In closing, please remember Dr. Seuss’ advice on self-actualization:

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

Categories: Tidbits on Life

Tagged: blogging, bodyimage, bullying, confidence, happiness, identity, inspiration, judgment, life, normal, postoftheday, socialnorms, society, writing

Wake Me Up When Winter Ends

loveandolive

Posted on December 1, 2014

Hi, I’m Olivia. I enjoy long walks across the Arctic, itchy wool sweaters, shoveling snow, penguins, and the immobility we experience beneath several layers of winter garments. Okay, that’s all a lie. Well, except the part about the penguins. I think penguins are cute.

Honestly, I believe I suffer from a debilitating illness commonly referred to as Seasonal Affective Disorder. Kindly wake me when spring rolls around so that I can order a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee and savor the chilled deliciousness while happily hugging random strangers in a manic appreciation of springtime bliss.

Until then, I will be researching the costs of moving to sunny Florida.

Categories: Laughter is Life

Tagged: blogging, cold, humour, life, penguins, sadness, seasonalaffectivedisorder, sweaters, takemetoflorida, winter, writing

No, Those Voices In Your Head Aren’t Real; What My Psychologist Tells Me About Shopping.

loveandolive

Posted on November 24, 2014

Okay, sure. I like to shop … a little. Okay, a lot. So I enjoy the hustle and bustle of the mall, the kiosks stocked full with chocolate covered almonds and sour straws. So a good sale makes me feel like all is right in the world. Is that a crime? Let’s say it together, ladies: Retail therapy. Yes, that’s right; the scientific phenomena by which the elevation of spirits coincides with the depletion of bank accounts. No, trust me. It’s a real thing. A psychologist somewhere is documenting the noted positive effects of shopping on the female psyche. Let’s face it. I really can give you any excuse to shop. But when I have a bad day, lose a case, car breaks down, that pull to spend is fierce. Don’t get me wrong, though. I am smart about it. I avoid shelling out dollars for bad deals, but there is something about a clearance or BOGO sign that just screams “come hither.”

When I walk into a retail store, the articles speak to me. That burnt orange cable-knit sweater? Yeah, it’s glowing on the rack in an aura of beauty. That electric blue colored Michael Kors satchel? It’s shining beneath a halo of angelic brilliance. With that said, the level of justification we employ when scouring the racks never ceases to amaze me. No matter what way you slice it, ladies, that size six stiletto will not fit your size seven feet. What is that you say? “Perhaps my feet will shrink, Olivia. Perhaps the shoe will expand.” No, honey, it will not. For years to come, those pumps will remain stagnant, wasting away on the bottom shelf of your walk-in closet, never worn and, most importantly, never loved.

Now, onto the judgment zone (er, the fitting room), the small space where bad lighting and mirrors leads to deep breathing exercises coupled with self-motivating chants: That patch of cellulite isn’t real. This will fit better when I’m not bloated. Huh, weird- everything just runs small in this store. Now, something very magical happens when we try something on that looks good. Like really good. The overhead lights transform into cameras and we almost begin to pose. Right side. Left side. Suck in stomach. Flip hair. Smile. Tippy toes. (Am I the only one does the tippy toes thing, by the way?)

With my definite selections in hand, I bring my purchase to the register. I approach the welcoming cashier, glaring at her intensely with my side eye, well, for she will soon decide my fate. I try not to get sidetracked by the small containers of hair ties, no-show socks and gift size makeup kits stationed beside the register area. I swear that these items are meant for easily distracted shoppers like me. One by one, the pieces begin to total. The running balance blurs into an obscure figure. I contemplate the removal of some articles and then begin to negotiate with myself. “Well, $150.00 looks better than $180.00. Then again, what difference is an extra $30.00 anyway? I can just return it next week if I change my mind. Ah, who am I kidding? I’m not coming back next week.” The swipe of the credit card seals my fate and the rush of feel-good endorphins flood my five foot three self. It’s a beautiful day! The sky opens up and I exclaim “Thank you!” before skipping out of the door, shopping bags flailing back and forth by my side in response.

Okay, sure, we women may be a complex bunch at times. I will admit to that. But there is a simple fact that stands firm over time: shopping equals happiness. So, fellas, if your girlfriend or wife wants to head to the mall, don’t fight it. Don’t question it. Just let her go. Trust me, she will return a much happier version of herself.

And in the end, isn’t that all that matters?

Categories: Tidbits on Life

Tagged: blackfriday, blogging, happiness, humour, life, retail, retailtherapy, shopping, women, writing

	Dale on The Wedding Post (straight fro…
	Where Do You Stand?… on Where Do You Stand?
	Anonymous on Let the Winds Carry You
	Let the Winds Carry… on Let the Winds Carry You
	Anonymous on The Wedding Post (straight fro…

Just a regular thirty-something-year-old trying to capture the essence of life in writing. Join me as I journey through the ups, the downs and the adventures in between.

Whisper of Wisdom Past

loveandolive

Posted on February 4, 2015

Are You a Planner? On Planning the Sometimes Unplannable.

loveandolive

Posted on January 21, 2015

Go Ahead, Laugh it Off. Invoking The Power of Laughter.

loveandolive

Posted on January 9, 2015

Happy Holidays, New York.

loveandolive

Posted on December 29, 2014

Have a Choice to Make? Read This. Exploring the Difficulty of Having Too Many Choices.

loveandolive

Posted on December 22, 2014

Tradition. What Does it Mean to You?

loveandolive

Posted on December 18, 2014

On Flying Time: Can We Do Anything to Slow it Down?

loveandolive

Posted on December 10, 2014

Are You Normal? Defining Normalcy in a World of Imit-Haters

loveandolive

Posted on December 3, 2014

Wake Me Up When Winter Ends

loveandolive

Posted on December 1, 2014

No, Those Voices In Your Head Aren’t Real; What My Psychologist Tells Me About Shopping.

loveandolive

Posted on November 24, 2014

Posted on February 4, 2015

Share the Love

Posted on January 21, 2015

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Posted on January 9, 2015

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Posted on December 29, 2014

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Posted on December 22, 2014

Share the Love

Posted on December 18, 2014

Share the Love

Posted on December 10, 2014

Share the Love

Posted on December 3, 2014

Share the Love

Posted on December 1, 2014

Share the Love

Posted on November 24, 2014

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